Looks matters when it comes to attracting women, but there’s another thing even more important for women. Discover the few simple tricks that will make you more attractive.
Now there are men who ask me: “Are looks important to women?” and “Do women like personality or looks?”
Well let me reassure you: Looks don’t matter at all. It’s all about personality.
Of course, looks are important to women. What do you think? Come on!
Last month… I was at a party hosted by an influencer friend. We hadn’t been there for five minutes when he said, “Come on, let’s go somewhere else, it’s just full of pretty boys.” He was right: all men looked like models.
But this being a reason to leave really surprised me.
I can’t recall ever feeling intimidated in a room with men who were prettier than me (probably because my ego will never admit it). I never focus on how other men look – besides, 90% of the women present were stunning. Still, he thought he had no chance because there were all kinds of beautiful men.
We stayed. When he got going after an hour and had already approached several women, he gave up. “It’s not working tonight”, he said. Whether it’s because I’m a social genius or I like to be entertained doesn’t matter. When people give up, I always challenge them to do just that little bit more. So I say, “Okay, talk to ten more and then we’ll go somewhere else.” He actually listens and approaches every beautiful woman. He stopped thinking and just wanted to get it done as soon as possible.
His nerves were gone. We stayed all night and he had the time of his life.
This is also one of the techniques you can use to deal with rejection.
What People Say About Appearance, Personality And Seduction
Now I know some men and even women who think it’s all about looks. Whenever flirting or dating is mentioned, you’ll get the usual comments like, “Yeah, but in the end it’s all about how you look” and then come up with their evidence of some friend (usually me) who is more successful than them. because he just happens to look better.“I’m too ugly for a girlfriend”
They prefer to list a few examples and then look at me with pride. As if the anecdotal evidence of a handsome man, who does well with women, suffices for this wacky idea. The trouble is that these ideas are quite wrong, although they seem true at first.
On the other hand, I know of those dating coaches – I won’t name them – who will tell you that looks don’t matter or – worse – that it’s all about confidence. They proudly list examples of less beautiful men who effortlessly seduce women. This group again uses a few incidental examples to show that they are the truth.
The truth: both are right and both are wrong.
Why Appearance Is Just As Important To Women As Winter Tires For Your Safety
Look, if you have to drive home through the snow, it helps if you have winter tires, but you can still have an accident. On the contrary you can also get home safely without winter tires. It may take a little more effort, you will need a little more skill to get home, but you can still get home safely with both options.
If someone says that getting home safely is all about winter tires, then they are wrong. If someone claims the opposite, they are wrong.
So that’s exactly how it works with looks and flirting. Looks helps with flirting like winter tires with safety. It helps in most cases, but does not guarantee success. On the other hand, you can also easily park your car without winter tires or looks 😉
But to what extent does appearance matter to women?Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.
It Doesn’t Matter If You’re Beautiful – As Long As You’re Not Ugly
If I’ve learned anything from 7 years of non-stop dating, flirting and studying seduction, it’s this: Your first impression is crucial to your success with women. For the nerds among us: This research shows that it makes little difference whether you know someone for 6 seconds or for years. Your opinion rarely changes.
Your appearance is a big part of this first impression. Even 2-day-old babies prefer attractive faces (scientists testing with babies, who doesn’t love that).
So yes, looks are important, but if you’re not a supermodel it doesn’t mean you will die lonely and childless.
It does mean that if you look and smell like a bum, no woman will fall for you. On the other hand if you look like Brad Pitt you will have it much easier than someone without these looks.
A man who stands at the bar all night will hardly ever be successful. In that group of men, the most beautiful are the absolute winners. A handsome man has the advantage that once in a while a woman will approach him. Do not imagine too much here, this rarely happens, even with super handsome men.
If a beautiful man appeals to a woman, he will also have a little bit of success fairly easily. Even if he can’t seduce her (well).
Still, I’ve had plenty of clients that I know that do better than the average pretty boy. Why? Because they have mastered the skills to work with their looks.
You’re Not As Ugly As You Think
You may know this Dove commercial. In this commercial, women are introduced to a forensic artist. They describe themselves and on the basis of this the artist makes a drawing. Then another person is asked to describe the same person to this artist.
.. and tadaa, the drawings are suddenly a lot more beautiful than when the woman described herself. Funny video and of course provided with beautiful background music and emotionally stimulating marketing tricks you can expect. Still, the point remains intact: You easily underestimate yourself.Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.Confucius
Because you are confronted with your own face every day, you only recognize the mistakes after a while. It’s like eating in a fancy restaurant for the first time. Everything seems perfect the first time. The second time you start to see a few minor flaws and over time it seems to get progressively worse.
The more ordinary things become, the more every little mistake stands out. The same goes for your appearance.
Being Ugly Is A Choice
Now I can hear you thinking “But Junaid, if being ugly is a choice, why do you choose it?”
That’s not funny:)
What I mean by this: Appearance is more than just good genes. It can be manipulated through diets, hairstyles, clothing and grooming.
You must be really ugly (the Guinness-Book-Of-Records-Ugly) if it can’t be fixed with one of those things. If you take good care of yourself and pay a little attention to your appearance, that is often enough.
So always make sure you just look ‘your best’. This website is full with fashion and beauty tips for men if you are unsure about it. I even wrote a FREE ebook about it called Glow Up Secrets.
My advice: ask a friend for advice 😉
Most women love to go shopping for you and tell them what haircut suits you best. All you have to do is make sure you’re ‘handsome enough’. In other words, if you’re a six, you can get away with it. As long as you compensate for that in other areas.
Stop The Beauty Hierarchy
There are moments when I – yes even I – still make this mistake. Literally 2 weeks ago. I had the time of my life in Canary Wharf. I was in a good mood and had spent most of my time in semi-serious conversations.
I talk to a woman and I see that she likes me. She openly flirts, plays with her hair and literally hangs around my neck all the time.
Being in such a good mood – having had a great day – I was barely focused on her. At one point we have long eye contact. Suddenly I see how beautiful she is. She has a pearly white smile and bright green eyes (the other way around would be creepy, by the way). Her body—she said she was an athlete—was perfect by my standards.
From the moment I realized her beauty everything went downhill fast. Because I suddenly saw how beautiful she was, I started to behave differently. Women can almost smell it the moment you put her on a pedestal. The conversation became uncomfortable and it took at least ten minutes before she decided to talk to someone else. It was my deserved destiny.
Fortunately, this rarely happens to me because I consciously try to never think in terms of value when it comes to looks. As soon as I start grading women on how pretty they are – there are even those men who literally give women numbers, sixes, tens, and so on (okay I used to do that too) – then this has a consequence.
If you start to see a woman as more beautiful than you, she will notice. There is no longer any question of equality. You will think you are not enough and so will they. Even if it isn’t at all.
So learn to stop rating women according to how beautiful they are. You can easily do this by shifting the focus to other things. When you look at her, force yourself to wonder what kind of person she is, if she’s adventurous, if she’s caring and so on. Shift your focus to her character. You can only think of one thing at a time.
That way you distract your brain from her appearance.
Appearance Is Important To Women – But Even More Important Is:
One of the most important elements of attraction is strength. These scientists have researched that perceived social dominance (i.e. how dominant you appear) is important for women.
Appearance is one of the factors of social dominance, but not the only one. You can also increase your social dominance by:
–Moving more slowly and calmly=> Learn to calm your gestures. Imagine you are underwater and move at that pace.
– Take your space=> Take your space. Insecure people always try to make themselves as small as possible. Confident men dare to stand wide and make powerful gestures. Rule of thumb: make yourself as big as possible.
–Going to the gym=> more muscles implies more dominance.
–Stand firm on 2 feet=> People who feel uncomfortable often shifted their weight to one foot. Evolutionarily speaking, you can run away faster if you stand on one leg. Teach yourself to always stand calm, secure and grounded with your weight distributed over both legs.
–To speak in a deep and clear voice=> Strong men speak in a loud voice. Sweet men often too soft.
–Touching more people=> People who dare to touch others seem more dominant and stronger to outsiders and the person they are talking to.
–Make strong eye contact=> Appear more powerful by making eye contact with people the moment you walk into a room. This takes some practice but makes a world of difference.
All these things are at least as important as appearance.
Conclusion: How Important Is Appearance To Success With Women?
If you have it then you have an advantage.
If you don’t have it, there are plenty of things you can do to achieve the same effect.
Don’t fall for the myth that it’s only looks that count. Not even if you only see examples of handsome men doing well. Don’t forget that handsome men can often do the above things well. Because they have had a small advantage from a young age compared to the visually less beautiful specimens (ugly ones).
As a result, they have often been more active in contact with women. The small advantage at the beginning may have had a lasting effect on their self-confidence. (or if you are like me, even when I was ugly I acted like a pretty boy)
Therefore, it may seem like it’s just their looks. Yet you will see that these men often – through practice – simply have more skills.
….and if you’re determined to attribute your success with women to your looks, you can. You can spend the rest of your life thinking that you are too big, too small or too ugly.
Practice and science (yeah, science bitch!) says otherwise.
So you’re ugly? Fine.
Then let’s stop talking about it and go up to that nice woman.
PS: How to get a glow up – even if you are ugly 😉 – you will learn that in the FREE ebook. Enter your name and e-mail address and discover how you too can seduce gorgeous women.